Voice from the heart

Why?

2010-08-18T21:29:00.000-07:00

I feel I have been plunged into a very deep valley from a mountaintop experience. I came back from my further studies hoping to contribute in my work. But why God am I going through this time when no one appreciates my hard work and day in and day out, I feel that I am using my sweat and blood to do my work. I really cannot take it anymore and many times I wonder why I am here. Why am I going through this terrible time and more is expected of me.I need a release from this, I feel like if I have a hole that I can be inside for as long as I want to. Is this a form of escape? So why,
why God am I going through this??
I sense that I have fallen from a high mountaintop and each day is by God's grace. I want to be released from this as soon as possible.
God, please help me. It is only by your grace that I can survive each day. I really don't want to go mad.

Surprise birthday celebration

2010-06-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

I remembered a few months ago I prayed to God i would like a different birthday celebration this year and God indeed answered my prayers in a way that I did not expect. On hindsight, although it did not seem to be what I expected it to be. A university girlfriend of mine arranged to meet me and celebrate with me on the actual day for dinner and what was a good surprise was she invited two other un friends whom I did not expect to turn up as well. So, it was indeed a good celebration and catching up with old friends.
Also, a friend of mine bought me lunch and also a book as a present. I really am thankful for this friendship although we have known each other for only a few months but somehow it seemed like I have known this person for a much longer period. I enjoyed the times of sharing and thank God for bringing this person into my life at a timely period. To my dear friend, thanks so much for your time and words of encouragement and of course those times you try to make me laugh with your jokes. I learnt to be less serious and hopefully your humorous nature can rub off me.
I really appreciate the friendships that these friends have given me and I also learnt something about prayer through this.
Often, when I approach God in prayer, I already have an intention of what I may have already want instead of seeking God for His Will. And when I lift up my prayers to God and trust that He will answer them in accordance to His Will. That is something that I realise that indeed if we believe that God is good then we would want to be living in His Will rather than out of His Will.
So may He continue to teach me more and more in learning to pray not in the way I want but to be led by the Holy Spirit even when I do not know how to pray.

Shattered or unrealised dreams and hopes

2010-05-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

It is with a heavy heart that I am typing all these. Since my university days and after knowing God, I have always dreamt that one day I will be able to have a wedding inside a church and to see myself married to the guy who loves God and can accept me for who I am, that we can both serve God together in a ministry. I have waited and prayed almost a decade. And all this while, it seems like barreness. As I grow older each year, the hopes seemed to have diminished and dwindled with each passing day. No one else knows the deep struggles I have within. All I am asking and seeking is companionship and a partner who can love me. Is this too much to ask for? As the people around me slowly settle down, I feel the pressure and feel left-out. I thank God for the many blessings He has given me all these years and many things I believe I have control over. But , this area of marriage is absolutely not within my control and I feel frustrated. All these years, I met different kinds of people and learnt many lessons along the way. At the end of the day, I can only say that nothing and no one can fully understand and accept me except God who has made me the person who I am today. I don't know what to do now except to look forward to spend eternity in heaven with God. Marriage is just a gift probably not for me although I desire it. It is a great test for me, maybe I may never see it come to pass. Can I still be able to say and give thanks to God for my situation in my life.
I have decided to only live a life to please God and no one else, to serve God wholeheartedly wherever he places me. not to seek the gift but the giver.
May God help me to do all these. I know I cannot do it in my own strength. I still pray that God can provide a suitable helper for me but there is really nothing I can do at this time.

Poems and words

2009-12-25T04:17:00.001-08:00

It is the first time a very dear friend wrote poems to me. I am really appreciative and I kept reading and reading them over and over again. The words of the poems will be deeply engraved in my heart. Thank you for writing those words to encourage and appreciate what I have done. It really spurs me on to want to continue to reach out and bless the people that God has placed in my path. Thank you dear brother for giving me the opportunity to be used by God to bless your life.
Now, although we are far apart, your words that you have written will continue to remain in my heart. Also, I believe the friendship that God has given us will stay strong and stand the test of time.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn to bless others with what God has given me. I pray that you will continue to grow closer and closer to our heavenly Father who loves us and desires to give us His best. To my dear brother and friend, you are God's beloved son and He is your Jehovah Provider. He will provide for you just as how He provided for the birds in the sky. So, continue to place your trust in Him and stay faithful, my dear brother and friend.

Travel experiences in the year 2009

2009-12-24T21:24:00.000-08:00

I am very thankful for the past 10 months of break where I can fulfil my dream of being overseas and travel to different places and meet different people. I thank God for each one of them and how He has brought them into my path even while I was on holiday. In this blog, I am just going to share some highlights during the past 10 months which is out of Melbourne

Travel experience 1:
The first person I met was in Perth when I was doing on 2 days trips and this person was on the same 2 days trips with me and my friend. I don't believe there is any coincidence and when we were sitting on the coach, he actually asked me what book I was reading and i was reading a Christian book. I felt at that point that I could continue the conversation. Initially,we had difficulties in communicating as he was still trying to learn English as he is working in Perth. Fortunately, my friend can speak a little Japanese and with the little basic Japanese that I know, I also tried to communicate with him. Somehow, our conversation led to discussion about Christianity and he allowed us to share the Gospel with him on the coach. Thank God we did manage to share with him the presentation of the Gospel using the bridge illustration. Although he did not respond immediately to the salvation prayer, I believe that the seed of the Gospel has already been sowed in his heart. We exchanged email addresses and thank God for the invention of facebook, we are still able to keep in touch even though my friend and I left for Melbourne soon after we bid our goodbyes to him. And when i went to Sydney a few months later, I am able to meet up with him again and he is also coming to Singapore in January next year and can continue to build the friendship. Truly, it is really amazing how I can even share the Gospel with someone even on a holiday trip. I really pray that the seed sown in his heart will bear fruit one day and he will come to know God as his personal Lord and saviour. To God be the glory!

Travel experience 2:
I was with 2 friends on a four days trip in Sydney. The trip was very good until we actually missed the flight on our return back to Melbourne. I just could not believe what I heard when we arrived at the check in counter at the airport when the person over the counter told me that we were late and that we had missed our flight. My heart literally almost sank and we had no choice but to go to the airline encounter to see what were our options could be. In the end, we had to pay extra and upgrade to another flight that departs an hour later but the terminal where the airplane was going to land was much further than the original terminal of our original flight. So that means that we had to pay extra to take the shuttle to the city and going to reach home very late. Well, this option was better than the thought of having to stay another night at the airport or even in the hotel at our own expense. Well, amazingly, something interesting happened. I was sitting next to this local guy on the plane and as my friend and I were sharing our "missed flight" story to another lady sitting near us, this local guy actually said, " I am going along the same way, I could give you girls a lift." At that point, it did not occur to me that i should not be taking a lift from a stranger and since there were 3 of us, I reckon that it should not be too dangerous and that guy looked really nice and fatherly. We started chatting with him and he was telling us about him having a son who is a lawyer and a daughter in medical school. When the airplane landed at the airport, he actually waited with us until our luggage arrived and gave us a lift to our apartments which was kind of a detour from his home. We gave him a postcard and wrote down our email addresses, gave it to him and bid farewell to him. Actually, my friend and I were thinking we should have got his namecard or something. Surprisingly, a few days later, he actually emailed us saying, " Thank you for turning what is usually a very boring flight between Sydney and Melbourne into a very pleasant experience.
Thankyou for the kind words and it was my pleasure to give you a lift back home. You are guests in Australia so we should look after you where we can."
I am glad that I met such nice people in a foreign land. Indeed, God is good. If we had not missed our flight, I would not be able to have the chance to meet such a nice person who took the effort to write to us although he is a MD of a company.

Travel Experience 3:
My friend and I were very surprised that only 2 of us were on this day trip we had pre-arranged a month ago before we arrived in NZ. It was a day trip to Mt Cook. The lady tour guide arrived at our hostel to pick us up and her friendly disposition really made me feel welcome in NZ. And I have never been on a day tour with just 2 of us with the tour guide, given the price we paid for it. Indeed God is good. Later on, as the day unfolded and then I kinda of discovered how God can use us to be an instrument of blessing to another person. This lady tour guide was so comfortable talking with us and giving us a tour of the places we have been. Never did I expect that she actually shared with us a glimpse of her life story about how she actually left her abusive husband for 20 years and tried all ways to overcome her sadness. She even told us to be careful and not be involved with bad guys. She even asked us if we had encountered any bad guys in our lives, I told her, " God is our protector, He protects us from harm." It was then that she realised that we are Christians. I felt God is using us to be her listening ears and probably she may feel better after sharing her thoughts with us. It was a very good day tour, I enjoyed the magnificent creation of God- the majestic mountains, clear water and the blue skies. It was as if a beautiful painting of nature unfolded in front of my eyes and the words of the Psalms just came to my mind. God is really an amazing and wonderful creator. I am so in awe of His greatness and majesty. The tour guide even brought us to a salmon pond to feed salmons and took us back to the city on a different route so that we can get to see another part of the country.
God is indeed good. When we arrived back in the hostel, the tour guide gave my friend and I a hug and we also asked for her email address so that we can keep in touch with her and continue to keep her in prayers that she will one day meet God personally and God will touch her life and heal her brokeness.
To God be the glory!

There are just so many things to be thankful to God for in the past 10 months even though I was away from home and away from familiar surroundings. God has provided many people, brothers and sisters in the Lord, friends whom i can share my life with. Bidding farewell is always tough and I did not know that it would be so difficult for me. Thank you Ronald for your kind words in the letter and the poem you composed, Sarah for helping me pack and repack my luggage, Pushpa for helping me to do some last minute clean up of my apartment, Elaine for printing my eticket and boarding pass, finally Krishan for sending me to the airport.
Tears of joy, thankfulness and appreciation welled up in my eyes as I see the plane leave the runway and it was really time for me to bid farewell to a place that used to be so unfamiliar to me but now it holds a special place in my heart.
I pray that all these memories will spur me on towards the challenges and life I have back home.

The end of my adventure in Melbourne

2009-12-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the last night I am going to be in Melbourne, a place where i have been for the past 10 months. Indeed, time really flies. I really thank God for the many many blessings He has provided and given me all these months. I thank God for allowing me to complete my degree successfully, for providing me with good health and His protection,the many good friends whom I have made over here, the growth in my spiritual life, my family who has always been supportive of my stay over here.
The past 10 months has really been a memorable phase in my life and for the many beautiful memories God has given me over here.
Thank God for all that you have given me.

Cultivating a heart of surrender

2009-08-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, God has been teaching me alot about the need to surrender and allow Him to come and work in every part of my life: work, ministry, relationships and so on. The process of surrender is not always easy and there are times when I really struggle just as how Jacob struggled with God.
It is during such times that I need His grace and mercy as I continue to pray and see Him at work in the things that I am praying for.
May God grant me His peace and assurance that He is with me although at times, I don't really sense His presence.
His word from Ephesians 3:20 is an encouragement to me today
God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. —Ephesians 3:20
May I truly experience these words being lived out in my life. This is my prayer to God.

3 months later: a time of physical and spiritual renewal

2009-05-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Today marks the third month I am away from the comforts of home, away in Melbourne..The semester is coming to an end and I am in the midst of preparing my final 3 assignments.
God has been good and faithful for the past 3 months.
He has led me to a church where I am inspired by the Word of God and the corporate worship. He has also led me to be involved in BSF which is something I had wanted to do so back in S'pore but did not have the chance to..Thank God also for leading me to be in one of the connect groups in church and having the chance to lead the Word section next wednesday to serve Him in this area.

There are also times I felt God dealing with certain issues in my life which I felt I had kind of swept them under the carpet. Possibly cos of the lack of time spent in reflecting upon my life back home, in the busyness of life..

Recently, I have been seeking HIm for breakthroughs in certain aspects of my life and the process of being shaped by God is painful and also rewarding..
As the Holy Spirit reveals to me areas in my life that He is slowly transforming me to be more and more like the image of Jesus..

During a recent devotion that I had, I was led to the verse in John 15:1
" I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn't bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken."
( the message translation)

This verse is indeed an encouragement to me as I continue to allow God's Work to be perfected in my life.

In times of when I am alone here, I thank God that although I may be physically alone away from my family and friends but i Thank God that Jesus is my best friend and He promises never to leave me nor forsake me.
It is really through such times of loneliness that day by day my faith is strengthened.

trip to Mornington peninsular

2009-03-08T03:35:00.000-07:00

Today,I went with my 2 secondary school friends and another friend to Mornington peninsular around an hour plus drive from Melbourne. it was rather cloudy when we set off around 11 am in the morning but it was sunny after we had our lunch. we had a mediterrean lunch with some nice white wine.it was rather pricy I feel but guess it was just an experience. Later on, we drove to sunny ridge and wanted to pick some nice strawberries but it was all picked up.we were pretty disappointed but later on we went to a very nice beach with nice clear, blue waters..the beach was not that crowded and it was really different from the beaches back home. I enjoyed the cool breeze and felt really good especially with the wind blowing on our face.
it was something different.
at around 4 plus pm, we drove back to the city. i went with a friend who was staying in the next street to a nearby eatery to eat nasi lemak. it was really delicious and i was satisfied with the nasi lemak and the teh tarik especially not eating rice very often since i came here.

Psalms 37: 3 to 4

2009-03-03T20:36:00.000-08:00

my devotion verses to meditate upon on Wed, 4 march:

trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

many times i struggle with unanswered prayers and desires yet to be fulfilled. The Lord led me to read these 2 verses this morning and I am claiming the promise that if i delight myself in the Lord, He wil give me the desires of my heart..
what does it mean to delight myself in the Lord?
to love GOd with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.to let no one else nor anything occupy the utmost importance place that is for God in my life..
May God help and empower me to delight myself in HIm at all times in all circumstances.

Rain in Melbourne

2009-03-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

this is my third week here in Melbourne and yesterday was the first time I experienced the rain...I was walking home from school after an evening class and it started raining.It was not heavy rain and thank God my umbrella was able to help in the situation. But it was very cold and i came back home , warmed up my soup and had that for dinner..
Tonight, i am going with a few friends as part of the campus orientation to try Greek food for dinner..hope it will be nice and interesting...

ABC soup

2009-03-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

my first attempt to cook ABC soup was a success. Just went to the victoria market this morning to buy the ingredients: potatoes, celery, tomatoes, pork ribs and carrots and onions.
it is a really simple soup to cook, guess the peeling of the potato skin and cutting up the ingredients does take a lot of time but the outcome is worth it..
i can save money and eat for my lunch and dinner..
wil try other soups in future..

things i wish to see fulfilled in my time in Melbourne

2009-03-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

I think it be good to list down what are some of the things i wish to achieve in my stay here in melbourne in 2009 and trust God to help me see through these goals.

1) i hope to finish reading the Bible at least once in my stay here.
2) Do well for my masters course.
3) make as many international friends from different parts of the world from my course or in church or elsewhere as the Lord leads.
4) to be refreshed physically, emotionally, spiritually.
5) to grow in my prayer life
6) learn to be dependent on God at all times esp when i feel lonely.
7) brush up my cooking skills.
8) tour as many places as i can in my stay in australia.
may God help me to achieve all these.

end of my second week in Melbourne

2009-03-01T04:05:00.000-08:00

The weather is getting cooler and it is very comfortable to sleep at night with this kind of temperature.I visited an AOG church today in Melbourne.I enjoyed the vibrant worship and really felt refreshed and uplifted after the time of worship. The pastor spoke from the book of Genesis about Issac and how we can prosper in times of diversity. I really thank God for this opportunity to come here to study in melbourne, taking time off from work to just reflect upon life and my purpose in my work. I also want to take this time to grow in my walk with the Lord, to read the Bible,strengthen my prayer life and learn to trust God at all times..
i am going to begin classes coming week. pray that God will give me His grace and wisdom to complete the course well.

Recognising God's voice

2008-07-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am reminded of the importance of recognizing God's voice and the ability to hear His voice gets more difficult when we are hearing so many voices each day..
These are some of the insights I read and am reflecting about as I read the book : Choosing God's Best
1) God's voice often conflicts with the world's reasoning.
God may ask us to do something that seem illogical to our rational minds. There could be exceptions.
2) God's voice will clash with out fleshy nature.
God will not tell us to do something that gratifies the desires of our flesh.
3) God's voice considers the effects of other people.
God has our best interests in mind and also the good of all concerned.
4) God's voice is patient, not rushed.
How many times have we tried to rush God when we seek Him. I am guilty of this many times. Sometimes, we may need to hear from Him quickly but He will never tell us to rush in blindly in something.
5) God's voice considers the consequences.
God has our future in mind. He will cause each of us to ask : " If i make this decision, what will happen to my family, my job and my walk with God etc."
6) God's voice is not discerned by unbelievers.
We should go to a Godly believer to seek counsel.
7) God's voice will bring peace to our spirits.
When God speaks, one of the most clear signs is a sense of calmness in the spirit. It may not be tranquil at first but the longer we listen, the quieter and more peaceful our spirits become. We will not have God's peace when we are disobedient to Him. We can believe in our minds but we will not be able to believe with our spirit and exercise FAITH!

Finally blogging again

2008-06-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

It has really been a long time since I have been blogging. Thought of restarting it again and pen down my thoughts and how the Lord has been speaking to me. It is a start of another new academic year and things seem to be fine. Going to embark on a fasting and prayer season soon. May the Lord speak to my heart as I seek Him in His Word and through prayers.

Answered prayer

2007-04-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

Thank God for answering a prayer I made for myself and some of my close girl friends over the past years. A prayer for God to provide a life partner whom He knows will be just the right person for me and when I meet him, I have some assurance that he will be someone whom I would want to enter into a courtship with a view towards marriage. Many a times, I often wonder and ask God, apparently, God may have to send that guy down from the sky literally as I don't think I can see him coming from people whom I mix with - my colleagues are either married or attached, I have known my church friends for so many years, it is not possible and somemore I told God I want to date a Christian guy who knows and loves God. Hmm, many times when I prayed this prayer, there is an element of a lack of faith because I know that from statistics and as I look around, there are many single Christian ladies. Either they choose to remain single by choice or they just did not come across any single Christian men. I often wonder to myself and ask God: Probably I may be like one of them too. So, after times of struggling, I surrendered the entire issue to God and even have the peace that if God wants me to be single, I will take it as His best plan for me and believe that He will provide me with the grace and strength to see me through in whichever situation but I need to trust and obey.It is not easy and there are times that I stuggle but God knows my deepest desires and Jesus is my close friend who knows and understands what I feel and go through.
I am so excited and happy because the Lord has answered my prayer to some extent about this prayer of finding a life partner to some extent. I am not sure if ultimately this is the guy I am going to marry but at least at this point, I am praying and let the Holy Spirit guide us.There is no rush for everything I believe happens in God's timing and purpose.
So, it is my prayer that I will learn to give and take in this relationship, that Christ's love will be foundation of this relationship because God has set us the role model of sacrificial love- by sending Jesus down to earth as a sacrifice for our sins. That I will not be thinking of how the person can solely meet my needs but also how we can encourage each other to grow spiritually in the Lord and to serve Him. Ultimately, may our relationship be an encouragement to those who know us.
To my friends out there, if you are struggling with this issue of life partner or if God will provide, do not worry. Just leave your desires at the feet of Jesus. God knows our future. In the meantime, enjoy the friendships and relationships that God has placed in your life at this juncture. In time to come, we will slowly be able to see the plan God will slowly unfold in our lives.I will continue to pray for u in this area, my dearest friends.

Changes and uncertainty

2007-03-05T06:21:00.001-08:00

It has been sometime since I last blogged. Often, there are so many things and changes happening to our lives that it is timely to take time off to reflect on all these changes and often I wonder, " God, what are you trying to teach me from all these? I am so lost!" Well, often this is one of the rhetorical questions that I often ask and I know the answer may or may not be found. But, nevertheless, typing down all these does enable me to offload all the emotions and thoughts that run through my mind each day. Besides, going to God in prayer each day, sharing with a confidante or a close friend is what I hope to do.
Recently, some issues at work cause me to ponder if after staying in this job for four years plus whether I should change and do something else. Boredom sets in, frustrations of the system and the people disheartens me a lot. I remember for a couple of nights in February and March, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning wondering what have I not done. Is that a sign of stress? or? How I wish I could just call up someone whenver I feel that I need someone to talk to? Only then that I realise and truly appreciate Jesus as being my best friend and saviour.
I know that without God's grace and strength, I would not be able to manage the many challenges and stress of each day.
Being an organized person, I don't quite like changes and often like to plan and be aware of what's happening. So, when I am not in control of this, I get frustrated and lost. Probably, it is the same in my career and my personal walk with God and personal life.
I pray that through all these changes and uncertainty, my walk with God will be strengthened and I will grow to trust God more in faith despite the uncertainty. I know that the struggle will not end but I know that through this struggle, my character is being moulded to be who God wants me to be. These verses come to my mind: Trust in the Lord with all your heart. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. ( Proverbs 3:5-6) May this be a timely reminder for me to learn to trust in the Lord.

Ashcome Maze

2006-12-17T03:27:00.000-08:00

Today I went to Kensington and visited Ashcome Maze and also Sunny Ridge Strawberry Farm.When I arrived at Ashcome Maze, surprised at what greeted me after we went into the maze was the many many flies...They were just flying around and irritating me while I was trying to enjoy the maze..There was this Rose Maze and Lavender Maze.. But the flies were just irritating and kept buzzing in my ears..Half the time I was trying to get rid of the flies around me, the other time I was trying to capture some photos while enjoying the sun.
Then later we went to the strawberry farm to pick strawberries.They were really big and delicious..The day ended with a nice dinner with my dad's friend's son and wife..Will be travelling to Great Ocean Road tomorrow.Hope the drive itself will be worth it especially hoping to see the 12 apostles.

Blogging in Melbourne

2006-12-15T03:47:00.000-08:00

Time flies. I am now approaching the final two weeks of my long school vacation break. Well, the thought of going back to face the challenging academic year really scares me and it is really by God's grace that I have survived for four years. God. how long more do you want me to stay in this profession? Well, on a lighter note, I just spent the past three days touring the streets of Melbourne..The city of Melbourne seems to be so busy just like many other cities of the world, even that of Singapore. especially during this period when it is only 10 days away from Christmas. It is a pity that I can't stay over in Melbourne to spend xmas here but taking a flight back home on xmas eve and may even miss the xmas service on the eve of xmas.
Well, some of the places I visited in Melbourne includes some of the famous shopping places like Chapel street and Melbourne Central on the first day. Wow, the street seems so long and shops of different products and services line the streets. It is unlike the usual shopping centres I find in Singapore. Although, there are so many shops, in the end, only my brother managed to buy a shirt and it really costs a lot. Hee, i think i will feel the pinch of spending that amount of money..So, in the end, I went to Melbourne Central to buy a pair of shoes from this department store, partly because I Wanted to wear that pair of shoes for my brother's graduation ceremony on the coming weekend.
Will be traveling to Great Ocean Road and Yarra Valley for the next few days for some scenic places to view and also the wineries to taste the wines..No photos to post here but will do so when I get them downloaded.
Hope I will continue to enjoy the remaining 9 days of my tour together with my parents and youngest brother..

Fear of the Lord

2006-10-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

Recently, from a sermon on Sunday, I was reminded of the need to have the fear of the Lord. There are a number of fears I struggle with. Fears of insects like cockroaches, which the look at it makes me want to cringe and shudder in fear. Also, I am fearful of what the future holds for me. This is my fourth year into my work. I could say I am pretty comfortable with most of my job responsibilities although there are still areas that I still struggle to manage. The working relationships with my colleagues in my department are also fine. I don't relate to everyone of my colleagues on a personal level but thank God, there are a number whom I can share my frustrations, complaints and struggles with. The last fear that I have is fear of the future. I do not know if my desires will ever be fulfilled...Desires to have my own family if the Lord willing..But if He does not, will I still trust Him??

Refresher course in driving

2006-07-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

Today, had a feel on how is it driving from my house to school using the new car that my brother bought last week. I have not been driving since 3 years ago when I passed my driving test. So, this time I do hope to gain more confidence in my driving. I think driving on the road is fine but I am just not confident about my reverse parking especially at the multi-storey carpark at my house area. In future, until I am more confident to drive on my own, I will drive to school then my brother will drive from there to work.

Single and satisfied

2006-07-09T05:34:00.000-07:00

Today's sermon was on the title " Single and satisfied". Just a quick recap of the three points that the pastor spoke about.
1) Singleness is good.
2) Singleness is a gift.
3) Singleness is God-pleasing.
He used the passage from 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 to help the congregation to understand the gems from the Word. I am particularly ministered by the sermon and know that God is speaking to me in this aspect. Especially when he tried to counter argue some of the marriage myths that many people believe in. I am no exception.
Truly, many a times as human beings we tend to think that the grass on the other side seems to be greener. Oh, how often we fall into that trap. What ultimately to me I learnt over these years is to be contented in any and every situation. It is not easy and many a times, we may fail and that is when we need His grace and mercy. I believe God wants us in the various stations in our lives to live out the best. That it is no point thinking that " I will be much happier if I have this or have that" and ultimately what satisfies us is God and no other human being or thing in this world, like career or lots of money that ultimately satisfies.
It is my prayer that as I am in my stage now to learn what God is doing in my life at this point. And knowing that He is good, He knows what is the best for me and I need not be fearful but to continue to wait upon Him and learn to trust Him.

Blessed Marriage

2006-07-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend I attended my cell mate's wedding. I knew him 6 years ago when I attended the church I am in now and since then he has been in my cell till recently, my cell multiplied and he is currently in a new cell. As I look back, I am encouraged by his love for the Lord and how he shared about how God led him to meet his wife then.
I pray that God will bless their marriage and they will both love God and each other more each day. May their love and marriage also bring about blessings to the people around them.
This time round when I attended this wedding, I had a different set of emotions. Maybe by now, I have come to a point when I realise that there is a need to be contented and satisfied as a person with God. Even if I am not attached or married, I can still have that abundant and complete joy in me having Jesus and God in my life. Oh God, help me to serve you wholeheartedly during this single season of my life. To be seeking your Will about my future and at the same time, desiring that God you will also grant me patience to wait for the gift of marriage if it is what you plan for me to have.
As I claim this verse for my life:" But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Indeed, may God help me to seek Him above all else in my life.

Recovering from jetlag

2006-06-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

Imagine typing this at 342 am on Sunday morning. Well, the fact is that I slept since 4 pm the previous Sat afternoon till 342 am. So, the jetlag from the flight is still into me.
I do pray that I be alright by Sunday evening, if not, how am I able to go to work on Monday morning.
Think I better go catch some sleep, at least try to sleep again.

End of a good break

2006-06-20T22:28:00.000-07:00

Tommorow will be my second last day spent in the US. It has been a very good break for me, just relaxing and not having to worry anything about my work. And now I am ready and refreshed to begin another new semester of school and preparing lessons and even looking forward to meeting my colleagues in school.
Well, I think it is good to have a break so that I can just to do something different, visit places of interest like Grand Canyon, Napa Valley, Yosimete Park, Las Vegas, Los Angeles to shop, to eat, to take beautiful photos and enjoy the wonderful natural scenic places that I can't help marvel at how wonderful God has created this world to me. It is truly magnificent and amazing to see the wonderful creation that the God of the Universe made.
All good things come to an end. My holiday is coming to an end soon. In a few days time, I will go back to the normal routine of a school term. I will expect a busy schedule ahead of me.
I pray that God will grant me His grace as He always has to be able to cope with the challenges at work, ministry, family and even having personal time to rest and even resting in the Lord each day in my devotion time.

Graduation Ceremony

2006-06-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Just attended my younger brother's graduation ceremony at Stanford University for his Masters degree. Oh well, the people here have their ceremony under the hot summer sun. It is so hot that my parents, my cousin, his wife and myself had to sit and stand under the shade of some trees to watch the entire ceremony. It lasted for about two hours. This reminds me of my own ceremony a couple of years ago but ours was in the comfort of air-conditioning and within a building. Staying in a tropical country and having sunshine almost the most part of the year, I certainly don't miss the sun. In fact, I do sometimes enjoy the days when it is raining. Well, at least it does bring the heat down a little.
Tommorow, I am going to another of my brother's departmental graduation ceremony and also taking some photos around the university too. If they are taken well, will post them online.
On Monday, will be making a road trip down to Napa Valley and Yosimete Park ( not sure if the spelling is correct). Actually, I think I been these two places around 6 years ago when I came over here. But, somehow, I don't remember seeing any of my photos. Probably, I did not take many when I came that time.So, this time, I am going to make sure I will take more of them, since they are digital ones anyway.
Another day of shopping tommorow plus helping my friend to buy some bags. Hopefully, the store will have the models I am tasked to buy. But, it is great to be able to help my friends in any way that is within my capability.

Interesting insights from a book I just read

2006-06-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, a friend of mine recommended me to read this book " Dating with pure passion" by Bob Eagar .Hmm, my first reaction to her through sms was, " Well, I am not in that situation now so what is the point of reading. Then one day, when I walked passed the Christian bookshop, I bought the book. I thought it will be a good idea to read the such literature while on my long plane flight to my holiday destination. And it was a good decision. Let me share briefly what I have learnt and how it has impacted my spiritual life.
Well, the book started off with the first two chapters about our spiritual marriage: that is the passion from heaven. It was only then that i realised how important it is that i have to evaluate my passion in my relationship with God. That is the most important thing in my life.
Anyway, this is something I do want to be working on now, that my walk with Jesus is not just based on a list of what are the things that i need to do but also on pursuing that intimate relationship with Jesus. It is only through this that I will know how to love others.
May the God Almighty empower me to do so as I grow deeper in love with Him each day. At this point, there is this song that has the lyrics something like " Take me deeper in love with You".
This is the prayer I desire to see it happening each day of my life.

Time for a good break

2006-06-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

After a refreshing time at the retreat last week, I am now in the States, enjoying my final two weeks of my holidays in this country with my family. It has been a blessing to be able to travel overseas whenever I have a long break for at least two weeks, to just be away from the usual routine at home and spend time with my family.
Well, a bit more about the retreat I went last week. It was a relaxing time, just to listen to God's Word and also to relax physically, playing some ball games with the others and also to make and strengthen existing friendships within the ministry.
Currently, I am reading a book: " Dating with pure passion" . A friend recommended me to read it. Hope to finish reading it by the time I return from my holidays.
I just read a chapter today entitled " Spiritual marriage" . What the author wrote really struck me in the sense that he mentions our spiritual marriage in Christ is something that we should treasure and hold on to. The subsequent chapters talk about our so called " wedding gifts" from our spiritual marriage with Christ. Hmm, who would have thought that a book like this would highlight our spiritual marriage. Well, at the bottomline, in order for us to be fulfilled in life is not dependent on if we are married or single. What is more important is Christ's unconditional love for us that is sacrifical. Well, we as human beings may not be able to demonstrate such kind of love. And we can extend such love we experienced to the people around us.
Let me finish reading the book before I key in more of my thoughts and observations. Well, reading the book encourages my heart a lot as I aspire to stay focused on the Lord and run the race well. May God empower me with His grace and empowerment through His Holy Spirit.

Been a long time

2006-05-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I decided to blog down my thoughts. Time flies and in one week's time, the holidays are around the corner and it will mark 3 and a half years in my career. Wow, it is indeed by God's grace that I managed to come this far. Juggling between work and issues at home is indeed not easy and each day of the week just passes by so fast.
Looking forward to my time with my parents and brother when I go US in June in 3 weeks' time. As a family, we hardly spend time together and I do hope that it will be quality time although it is just two weeks that we will spend together. I just realise that my parents are growing older each day and just want to cherish those times we spend together.
Looking forward to retreat too. May I be able to sit down at the feet of Jesus to listen to what He has to speak to me regarding different issues in my life. At the same time, to get to know more people and strengthen existing friendships.

Tired

2006-01-20T01:54:00.000-08:00

Thank God for giving me the grace to survive the past 3 weeks since the term started. There are just so many things to do and sometimes it really gets so overwhelming and I really dislike when I see that my table at home and in school is in such a mess. Oh how i envy my colleagues who have such a tidy workstation. It really goes to show how organised they are. Quite a number of my colleagues including myself is affected by the flu bug that is around. Well, I do hope the weekend will allow me to recover soon before Chinese New Year is round the corner soon. Well, I have mixed feelings about celebrating the new year. On one hand, it is good as get to have a few days break from work and receiving red packets.However, besides meeting up with my relatives and friends, sometimes I do get unnecessary pressure from them when they jokingly ask when will be my turn to give 'hongbaos". Well, I do hope i can jokingly also brush that topic aside and not let it affect me. Quite a number of my colleagues are down with the flu bug and I also have a bad throat after raising my voice. I do hope i can recover quickly, replenish my energy over the next two days in the weekend.

Good gifts and Love

2006-01-14T05:20:00.000-08:00

These few verses from Matthew 7:9-11 ministered to me a lot during the past few days. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Although I have read these verses many times before but each time when I read these verses, the Holy Spirit never fails to impress upon my heart what the Lord wants to speak to me. As I endeavour to know God better in this spiritual pligrimage, I believe God wants me to learn to know Him better as a loving Father, and that He wants me to learn to ask for what is good for me, and then He grants it. Each time when I come to the Father and seek Him in my prayers, I am sure the Lord knows even what I want to ask of Him. So even when I earnestly await for Him to answer my prayers, I am learning to patiently wait and seek His Will for every aspect of my life. After being in the workforce for a few years, there are times when I find that I rely on my own strength instead of His and then I realise that I am not enjoying that abundant life that He wants me to lead. Even as I step into the third week of the year, it is my prayer that I will learn to love Him more each day and that He will teach me what it means to seek the Giver instead of the gifts.
Recently, the news of a friend who decided to call it a day with her boyfriend of quite a number of years. I was shocked initially because I thought they were such a loving couple. But then again, there are many surprises we meet in life. And I think for the couple, probably if the girl experiences God herself, she might be able to love the guy with God's love. Love is such an amazing emotion. It can cause people to do things that they will never imagine themselves doing. And this brings me back to the greatest love of God - "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son..." Indeed, can any human love be compared to this great love? And this helps me to focus again on His love when I feel down. Being a melancholic person, I tend to allow negative thoughts to affect me when things do not seem to go my way or when people disappoint me or let me down. But, when I think about His great love that He died for my sins, my focus is back again.
May I continue to experience His love more and more each day and in turn share this love to the people around me who are lost without His love. Praise God!

Reflections over the past one month and stepping into a new year ahead

2005-12-27T02:43:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 3 weeks since I updated my blog. I came back from my trip to Bangkok and bought quite a bit of things. And including the clothes I bought from yesterday's post Xmas shopping trip, I am all ready for school. Time really flies, I have taught in the same school for the past 3 years. Looking back, I am thankful to be here. This is the place where I find my faith in the Lord being strengthened. Times when I relied on His strength and grace to love the kids even though they can be testing your patience at times. I guess that is when He wants me to rely on Him instead of my own strength to do His Will. Also appreciate the friendships I have cultivated over the past 3 years. For without some of these colleagues, I think it will be difficult to survive each day in school. I do hope to continue to stay positive in my attitude even if the going gets tough in time to come.

A few weeks ago, I went with my colleagues on a Bukit Timah hike. It was my first time there and thanks to my colleague who brought me there. It was also a good time to just appreciate nature and also a time to cultivate friendships, both existing and new ones. Do hope to go again some time with this group of friends.
As the year draws to an end in a few days' time, usually most of us would be making new year resolutions and plans and goals for next year. I am not an exception. Things that I would want to trust God for in the coming year:
1) A closer walk with Him despite the hectic schedule in my work, time to just spend with Him at the end of each day or even at the start of a brand new day.
2) Dependence on God each day in my work as well as my ministry in cell.
3) Perserverance in prayer for my family and friends and colleagues salvation.
4) Courage to be a witness for the Lord whenever He allows me to.
5) A consistent reading of the Bible and complete reading the Bible in one year.
6) Continue to trust in Him in the different areas of my life and not to be anxious but to commit all my requests to Him.

Part of my holidays

2005-12-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

School holidays are the time when it is the best for me to go for an overseas holiday. But, did not plan to go anywhere spectacular this long break ,partly because I been on a Europe trip in June and decided I should just rest in Singapore except for a few days trip to Bangkok next week. Holidays is really good for me as it allows me to recharge, reflect about what I should be doing in the coming year, making plans for my future, seeking and praying about these plans, and ultimately to seek God's Will above mine. It is not easy for we often want to do things in our own way rather than to seek God's Will above ours. Really requires a surrendered life to Him. Attended a couple of weddings and even have quite a few weddings lined up next year that I am invited to go to. Happy for my friends who have found their true love. As for me, still learning to surrender and making good use of my singlehood to be used by Him. True, there may be times of struggle and temptations but ultimately I know it is through such times that my faith can be strengthened and nothing is more blessed than to patiently await what He has in store for each one of us. Whichever stage of life we are in, He who is faithful will gives us the grace to go through.

Is there more than to the tip of the iceberg?

2005-11-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

I just heard a very inspiring message from a woman of God. Indeed, the message is very relevant to us as believers today. Using the illustration from the movie "Titanic", what sank the ship that was termed "unsinkable" was not the 10% that was visible above the waters but the 90% that man could not see. I felt it was such an apt illustration that she used to bring across the fact that often we focus so much on the 10% that people can see- our external appearance rather than the 90% - our character that others or even we ourselves have difficulty grasping and understanding. But, yet it could be this 90% that causes us to fall.
What is our character made of? Our personal identity, our values or ethics, our emotional stability and lastly our personal discipline. If there are any significant flaws in any of the above-mentioned four aspects, could it mean also a character flaw that we have. Man in general, be it males or females focus so much on our external appearances that we know do not last but what really last is the strength of our character. But, yet why do we still invest our resources into the things that do not last?
I think when the Holy Spirit do speak to us on anything, there needs to be an adequate response and personally, I realise I have to invest my resources on the 90% that may not be visible so that I can be someone who is credible and reliable.

wrong temperature

2005-11-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today, had a baking session with 3 other colleagues. We tried to bake oat and cranberry cookies. We followed the recipe from the newspaper. But, oops, the temperature to bake the cookies was too high and the first batch of cookies were really bad. Well, guess have to go through some trial and error before we can succeed since this is the first time we are following the recipe. Well, the second batch of cookies were better and more successful as my smart colleague decided to lower the temperature from 200 degrees celcius to just 150. And they really turned out to be better. Indeed, cooking or baking in this case is not easy and requires lots of practice. I hope I will not be discouraged after this attempt and give up my interest on baking. Will certainly try harder since now I know I have to use lower temperature than the one suggested in the recipe. Looking forward to 3 more days before the long awaited break finally starts.

Gems from the book of Joshua

2005-11-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

Read a friend's blog on love and truly agree with what he said about the issue of couples and about their problems in marriage. I guess it is not easy to stay together in a marriage and not have any problems. Even in our love relationship with our heavenly Father, there is also a need for devotion so our hearts will not stray away from Him. I have read the Book of Joshua a few times but still this time, there was a fresh revelation from a different perspective. All of us are leaders in our various spheres of influence, be it in our work place as a manager, supervisor or even as a school teacher influencing our students positively. And in our ministries as a ministry leader, it is so crucial that we lead by example. So, there are two areas that we need to be working upon. Firstly, is to be diligent in studying the Word and secondly is to stay devoted to the Lord. Specifically, in Joshua chap 23: there is mention of grace of God and fear of God so ultimately one conclusion i can say is that God is both faithful in His blessings and also faithful in carrying out judgment. Oh, this is something I learnt today. Had a good time in cell discussing the questions from Joshua Chap 9. Really appreciate each one of my cg mate. We have been in the same cg for 6 yrs for the few of us. We have seen many people coming in and out of the group, some stayed on, some left. But I thank God for the few who have been standing by me in leading the group. For without their prayers and support and His faithfulness and grace, we will not be able to come so far. It is indeed awesome. May we continue to encourage and spur one another on towards love and good deeds.

New interest

2005-11-11T06:30:00.000-08:00

Only one more week left to report to work and it will be the start of a long-awaited break. Really looking forward to this break for a long time as been very tired at work with so many things to manage and do. It is really by the grace of God that I manage to pull through. Just a few days ago, learnt something new. I like the crystals earrings that my colleague made herself and asked her to bring me to the shop where she bought the stuff to make the earrings. So, the three of us went to the shop and I bought quite a bit of accessories to experiment my ideas.
So far, made 2 pairs of earrings and will experiment with more varieties in the coming days. Going for my cousin's wedding tommorow. He is only one year older than me and dated his soon to be wife in less than 24 hours time for at least 5 years. Really envy.
Got to be more diligent in the reading of the Bible. Find that I have slackened in that aspect.

It's been some time

2005-10-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

It has been some time since I posted my blog online.Well, after my colleague and friend asked me why it has been so long since i updated my blog is that i told them i have nothing significant that i want to blog down my thoughts. Work is getting less busy since the holidays are coming soon. Really look forward to that long deserved break before a brand new year starts again next year. Have nothing much planned to go anywhere except to spend a few days with a few colleagues in Bangkok. Hope I will not be too bored and have a good time of rest. Probably will also do some reflection and spending time with my friends and family and relatives.

Meditation on the book of Joshua

2005-09-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

It has been for some time since i las blogged. After the encouragement by a friend, decided to blog about something I learnt today in the service. Currently, the sermon series is on the book of Joshua and it really struck me in the aspect of how the Lord led Joshua and His army into success. The interesting thing is that God already promised that He will give them the land but why did he still want them to fight for the land and told them to conquer the land in an unusual manner. So after discussion in cg, we agreed that in the Bible there are so many promises that are given to us. However,usually there is a role that we have to play in in order to claim those promises. We are playing an active not passive role. Just like how in John, chapter 15. God promises to remain in Him and He will remain in us. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. So, I learnt to claim upon the promises in His Word at the same time playing an active role. Especially when it comes to the aspect of sin, we need to be quick to repent and move on and claim upon his forgiveness in 1 John 1: 1-9. Indeed, God's grace gives providence for us to sin and repent. So, I am still living in His grace. Yet, at the same time, because He is a holy God, He does tolerate sin and there are many instances in the Word that people are punished because of this sin. Do we say that it is not fair? Indeed, as I continue to read the book of Joshua, I learn and learn more about the character of our heavenly father and reveals how sinful our human nature is. May the Lord continue to help me to be more and more like Him as I continue walking in step with the Holy Spirit.

Success!

2005-09-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

Had a great sense of achievement when my muffins were finally out of the oven and ready to eat. Must really say a big thank you to my two lovely and sweet colleagues, C and X. Thanks C for your enthusiasm in baking and has influenced me too. Looking forward to learning more recipes from you. As for X, thanks for making the dough. Think you did a great job. Next time, can bake again. Well, life at work has been made more exciting with these two wonderful colleagues. May we continue to do our work well and also share many more such exciting moments together. I do hope my interest in baking can be sustained and bless many people whom God has brought into my life.

Attempt at baking muffins

2005-09-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

I invited two colleagues to come over to my place to bake some muffins and also a time of get together.These two of my colleagues are very good friends of mine in school and do hope we can spend a memorable time learning together. Since I bought a new oven, very thankful that I am able to bake which I have always wanted to do. And when my baking products are successful, I can even share them with my friends and make their day. Isn't that wonderful? Looking forward to a dinner with a friend tommorow night. It is through an unusual circumstance that I met this friend a few years back and do hope it will be an enjoyable time.

Hope to have a good break!

2005-09-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

Next week will be the one week break.Although, there are days where I need to do some work and attending courses but I do hope I can have some time to do the things that I enjoy or just simply to take a break. The recent prayer meeting have left a deep impression in my mind as I watched how the people from East Timor are suffering and how people desire to help them. The recent catastrophe that happened in US also remind me once again the fragility of life. We never know when our lives will end on this earth. Hence, I really need to cherish and make use of my time here on earth to fulfil my purpose. Maybe I should go start reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren again this one week break to rediscover my purpose of life if along the way things have crowded in.

My first blog

2005-09-03T03:29:00.000-07:00

I have always enjoyed reading the blogs of my friends. As we are all so busy with leading our own lives, trying to meet up seems so difficult in this fast paced society we are living in.And I think that this is one way that I can find out how they are doing. It has been almost coming to 3 years since I entered into my current job and there are times when I felt and wondered why am I in this job.And I go back to how three years plus ago, I prayed and sensed the Lord's leading in this direction. If I allow God to use me in the way He wants to, I believe I can make a difference in people's lives. May the Lord continue to use and mould me as I desire to walk in line with His Will.